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Friday, December 26, 2003
Wise words
Posted by Lis Riba at 3:31 PM
 A few nights ago, while discussing education historic and modern with Ian, I pulled out our McGuffey's Sixth Reader (revised) and started flipping through the assorted essays and excerpts they thought worth reading by most American students. This selection from Thomas Jefferson's inaugural address seems somehow relevant to the current political climate: DURING the contest of opinion through which we have passed, the animation of discussions and of exertions has sometimes worn an aspect which might impose on strangers, unused to think freely and to speak and to write what they think; but this being now decided by the voice of the nation, announced according to the rules of the constitution, all will, of course, arrange themselves under the will of the law, and unite in common efforts for the common good. [Interesting and annoying -- I went looking for this speech online so I wouldn't have to retype it, and none of the online copies use the same punctuation as the McGuffey version: omitting commas where they'd be useful for oration, adding wholly unnecessary commas in nonsensical places, and in a few places, using only semicolons in places where McGuffey puts full paragraph breaks! I've done my best to restore the McGuffey punctuation.] 
Pan-tastic
Posted by Lis Riba at 12:55 PM
By the way, saw the new big budget Peter Pan last night. Utterly gorgeous and impressively faithful to the spirit of the book, even while rearranging things just enough that my recent reading of the original still left me wondering what would happen next. I highly recommend seeing it, though if you have no small children, you might wish to go to an evening showing (as we did).
I found a new role model
Posted by Lis Riba at 12:45 PM
Looking up more info on the author of Gentlemen's Blood, I found this profile of the author: Having either a wide variety of interests or a short attention span... Oh, that sounds so me.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Partial bibliography of our sources
Posted by Lis Riba at 7:20 PM
To the relative with whom we had the lengthy debate during the Xmas meal and afterwards, here are a few of the books Ian and I referenced and further reading we recommend:
Those are all that I can think of off the top of my head in these 15 minutes. Somehow I feel that James Burke (Connections, Day the universe changed, etc) should be in there somewhere, but I don't think we ever directly referenced anything by him. It was a fun conversation, although these are issues that both Ian and I have discussed amongst ourselves a fair bit and it almost felt like we were being unfair in debating two against one with you. I don't know whether our cynicism put a damper on your optimism, but hopefully it's given you a bit more to think about. And to everybody else reading this, yes it was quite a broad discussion, and this doesn't even include the political and economic side of the coin because I don't feel like looking up all the current events news stories. Added 11:45 PM: As I got in the car to go to the theater, I realized that I neglected to mention Alexis De Tocqueville's Democracy in America... and given its importance, how could I possibly forget that!? Added the following day: What I wrote about the benefit concert local kids put on to fund their school.
Truth is stranger than fiction
Posted by Lis Riba at 1:04 PM
It's been a while since I've updated my occasional series on historical people and events that are too bizarre to be anything but real, but Gentlemen's Blood: a history of duelling from swords at dawn to pistols at dusk has far too many such anecdotes for me not to share a brief one. Barbara Holland, the author, described this story on NPR's Only a game, and at the time I went hunting for a transcript or another account to share in this series of mine. But now I can quote the book directly: In France, a splendid duel was fought in 1400 between a suspected murderer and his accuser, a dog. The Chevalier Maquer killed Aubrey de Montdidier in the Forest of Bondy, near Paris, and buried the body. The only witness was Montdidier's greyhound. The dog went back to town to a friend of his master's and led the friend to the spot, where he whined and scratched the ground. The body was recovered and reburied, and the greyhound moved in with the friend. Shortly thereafter, it met up with Maquer and attacked him viciously; three men had to pull it off him. The dog was an otherwise gentle and amiable sort, but it kept on flying at Maquer whenever it saw him. I must say, I'm having a hell of a lot of fun reading Gentlemen's Blood. Chock full of interesting stories that I find myself reading aloud to Ian every few pages. Apparently, the book was an outgrowth of an article for Smithsonian Magazine -- they have a webpage devoted to the book, including the original article, an excerpt from the book, and a Q&A with the author. And I can't help wondering, as I'm reading all this, whether a return to duelling might not be a good thing for culture. Heinlein famously wrote that "an armed society is a polite society" but it wasn't just that everybody was armed, but that there was a whole code surrounding it of what was and was not proper. Would Ann Coulter be as publically nasty if everyone she slandered had the right to slap her in the face and demand either apology or satisfaction for her insults? Honestly, that's what Bill O'Reilly wanted from Al Franken after his drubbing at the Book Expo. [see here] Instead, we have slander and libel suits and things like Fox vs. Franken, which are longer and slower and involve many more people and resources. Still, the political discourse has gotten so ugly and personal of late, I can't help thinking that a few well-placed "how dare you say that about me" responses, enforced by the threat of gunfire or swordsplay, might actually settle things down. And of course, considering how many of the most hotheaded Republicans also avoided military service in comparison with veterans like Clark, Kerry, Gore, Cleland, etcetera, that could really help restore some balance and civility to the Capital... As Barbara Holland writes in her introduction: There was much to like about the duel. It was a regulated way for one man to prevail over another when he felt the need to do so, and an improvement over the informal ambush, or sending out henchmen to break the enemy's skull by night on the highway. It had rules enforced by peer pressure that respectable men respected. Its gratifications were more immediate than the gratifications of successful lawsuits, which in early times could take years or decades to settle. Of course, to really be effective, there needs to be a code of conduct for duels to ensure fairness. And I'm honestly not sure modern American society would be willing to follow one. Ian pointed out that just in his years of public schooling, he watched the playground rules for fist fights degrade from "fists only, no kicking" in elementary grades to "no-holds-barred, win at all costs" by the time he graduated high school. I can't help wondering how much the popular practice of enrolling children into martial arts self-defense classes may have accellerated that change. And of course, nowadays wronged schoolkids bring guns to school. Americans seem to pride ourselves on taking unfair advantage of one's foes. So we may actually be too far gone by now for such a system to work. Which seems, weirdly enough, somehow sad. At any rate, this got far more serious than I expected for a humorous anecdote, even if it does all deal with death. I'll close with one other funny line from the book, from the time when pistols were just beginning to replace swords in duels, before technology developed decent accuracy: In one duel in France, both parties fired simultaneously and simultaneously killed each other's seconds. Gd that must've sucked. Happy holidays, everybody!
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Outside of a dog
Posted by Lis Riba at 1:35 PM
Okay, I may have gone a bit overboard at the libraries. [That's right, I stopped at two of them on my way home from work. That's largely because I searched the online catalog from work, and neither branch alone had all the books I wanted.] Even if I don't read them all (and I probably won't) I should now have more than enough reading to keep me busy for the next several weeks. [Though I did put a reserve/hold out on The Merchant of Vengeance for whenever a copy frees up.] At any rate, here's what I came home with:
Add that to the stuff I got last night, and I should be set for the impending long weekends and over lunches. What do you think? By the way, in my reading journeys through British history, I'm still looking for books about the Hanover dynasty, including the switchover from the Stuarts, if anybody has any good recommendations. I tend to prefer biographies to broader or straight histories, because that tends to impose a bit of a focus and narrative structure. Fiction is fine for these purposes, as they often provide good starting points for figuring out where my interests lie in the period. Last night at dinner, when we were both flush with entertaining new books, Ian and I kept interrupting one another by simply having to read sentences or paragraphs aloud. Ian came across one passage, and said he thought he and I were probably the only ones who would find it funny. I did laugh, but I think that at least two other readers of this journal will also see the humor in this: In the American Old West, bartenders were often known as ganymedes, referring to the cupbearer to the gods in Greek mythology. Get it? Let me know. I'm curious how many people will. And one final bookish question. As I was reading Ovid, I realized that education in the Renaissance was extremely heavy on the Latin classics. But classical Latin is also chock full of references to the Roman pantheon of deities. And most places in Europe were very Christian. So how was that taught? Did they learn it as we often do, that the Romans believed these myths which have no basis in reality? Or did they give some credence to these legends? I'm particularly curious what they believed about the founding of Rome, since all the various stories involve the Roman gods in some way or another... Anybody have any ideas, or know where I might look?
Ramblings and realizations
Posted by Lis Riba at 11:20 AM
Two self-realizations. These aren't new to me, but I don't think I've ever shared them here:
Last night after work, Ian and I got into a bit of a fight. I was upset because he hadn't yet bought me any gifts for the holidays, and was feeling stressed and unappreciated. And, despite my tears (I suspect PMS may have turned a molehill problem mountainous, as it is wont to do to me -- fortunately, I have at most one short outburst per cycle, but they're hard to predict or recognize until afterwards), I think we did learn some important things about what gift-giving means to one another. [I will hopefully have time and memory to go into more detail on ths later, because it was rather interesting.] So we went out to Harvard Sq. for what I'm calling "retail therapy." We stopped at Tealuxe, where Ian bought me an infuser for work (the snapball), along with two varieties of chai (Masala & Kashmiri) and a canister so I could bring my precious loose jasmine tea to work with me. I really love the aroma as much as the taste, and anything which can bring some sensual pleasure into this place is a good thing. We also stopped at several bookstores. Unfortunately the book I most wanted to read immediately, The Merchant of Vengeance(the fourth volume in Simon Hawke's delightful Shakespeare & Smythe series of mysteries) was not yet available in the stores. [Probably for the best; I don't actually own 1 - 3, so I can reserve this one from the libraries, too.] However, I did find another title that sounded good since I first heard about it on Only a game: Gentlemen's Blood, a history of duelling. I flipped through the intro in the bookstore and liked the writing style. It's quite fun. I also got Ian Joy of Mixology (which I mentioned on Monday) and he surprised me with a new translation of Ovid's Metamorphoses. [I've been getting into Ovid recently; mostly the Marlowe translations of his naughty poems.] I also made notes of some other titles that looked interesting to look for in the libraries; things I want to read, but not necessarily own. At any rate, now I have some new books to read, which will help me cope with Xmas day by giving me avenues of retreat when the crowds become too much for me. Work today has been much better, much calmer. So far, no phone calls yet, although I've gotten 2 email replies to tickets I'd hoped I'd closed yesterday, including one which is yet another variation of "But why is the rum gone?" by that same customer. [I've been through at least two more iterations with them since I described it on Monday, and they still don't get it.] Also, K spoke to me privately, asking how I was doing and what they could do to make things better. [I guess my email to the Head of Development did some good; also, to be fair, K is completely new to supervising and was thrown into this role when my former manager was laid off and doesn't entirely know what to do as far as handling people problems.] Customers have been sending us gift baskets all week, so there have been all kinds of nummy nasheri including, just now, a massive box of chocolates that I think must weight at least five pounds. And, we got word that the office will close at noon today. Things seem to be looking up and I'm feeling relatively calm and much better today. [Cool! One of the developers just walked past and gave me a box of Cadbury Signature chocolate cookie experience...] And I'll be getting out of work one hour before the library closes, so I may pick up a few more books to keep me going through the long weekends (and to keep me from reading at the computer during my lunch breaks at work). Have a good holiday, everybody, whatever it may be!
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Damsel in dis stress
Posted by Lis Riba at 2:30 PM
And for a while this morning I was doing better. Then, I found out that J was off the phones this week and next for yet another "special project" helping the Sales department install a new program they're using. . Mind you, I was promised when I was hired that part of my time off the phones would be to work on projects and consulting, but I havent gotten a-one. I was never even offered a chance to take part in any of the recent training sessions this month and next. Meanwhile, the more time they get off the phones for these things, the more calls I get, further increasing my workload. Another thing I noticed is that since training started, it seems like my coworkers have stopped IM-ing to coordinate when we're each taking lunch. Because I'm on some meds that suppress my appetite and I have a tendency to lose track of time, I often don't even notice until lunch is long past and everyone else has eaten. I made sure to get my lunch today, but about 5 after noon, when I was emotionally wanting a break, I noticed somebody else had taken off without notice, meaning I had to wait for them to get back before I could sign off (the phones, that is. we're salary, not timesheets). I wasn't passing out or anything, and if I'd been asked, I would've been fine with it, but the point is, nobody ever asked -- they just took lunch and left it for me to deal with. I'm sick of having to constantly ask for time off that I'm entitled to and should be mine anyway. It feels like a system designed to punish the considerate. While looking up web resources on burnout, I found this Stress-O-MeterTM quiz from PBS. I seem to be fluctuating between the following two results:
I already knew I was far gone, but I'm wondering how some of the rest of you writing about work stresses (A?) measure up on this quiz. At any rate, I did actually email the head of Dev, saying that I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. [One of my friends once underwent an actual nervous breakdown from working support that got him disability time off. The other day I asked Ian how one describes a nervous breakdown, and idly mused about faking one to get time off for myself. Ian replied that the definition was suitably vague, but seriously considering faking in order to get time off probably qualifies as a genuine one.] We'll have to see whether that garners any results. I left the email open-ended, but have given some thoughts to things I'd like within this job that might mitigate my stress:
That's really all I can think of for now. I'd like some extra time off the phones to compensate for the training, possibly with some other training time for me (even just a workbook or online training and the time to go through it). Meanwhile, I read two more volumes of Chobits over lunch (I tried to go out for a walk, but it was a little too chilly), and I've been sniffing at a box of Frango mints beside my keyboard for relaxation. [I don't feel like opening them quite yet.] Oh my. K just asked if I wanted time off the phones to work on my open issues and told me to log out for the rest of the afternoon! What is this world coming to?
Monday, December 22, 2003
Feeling better
Posted by Lis Riba at 9:20 PM
It's amazing what a phone call from a good friend, opening just the right gift, & lighting candles and reciting prayers can do for one's mood...
Long and whining road
Posted by Lis Riba at 8:45 PM
I'd say "stop me if you've heard this one," but you probably have. I'm just feeling really... morose, melancholy, maudlin... I've known enough people suffering clinical depression to be aware I'm not actually capital-D depressed, but I am feeling down. I described my work situation in a fair bit of detail two weeks ago. When I was hired, it was on a presumption of half-day on the phones, half-day for research and dealing with open issues. Back in July, after another particularly frying time while coworkers were on vacations, I realized that I cannot research and write replies to customers during my phone shift. The interruption of incoming phone calls and the disruption that causes to my workspace and thought processes is just too great. Trying to do two things that use the same mental space and same desktop tools (meaning that I sometimes have to close the research I'm working on for the call at hand) is detrimental to both. I lose my place trying to juggle them, since they overlap so much. For a while, I stayed late at the office one night a week to give myself quiet time for such research, and that actually worked pretty well for me. Then, five months ago, the company laid somebody off and we've been on all-day phones ever since. I don't think it's fair to make me work through my lunch (since I have to be present for nine hours and am only paid for eight). I don't think I should have to regularly work overtime to get my required tasks done (since I'm paid salary and not hourly). And, I really can't work on researching customer problems with the possibility of the phone ringing every second. It's the urgent vs. the important, and this job keeps prioritizing the urgent first. So, I've slacked off a bit on research while off the phone. And my tickets and emails have piled up. The last several weeks, I've been requesting time off the phones to work on them, and this afternoon was the first time I was actually given some. And, much to my pride, I resolved one of them -- a complex Java issue where the email didn't provide enough information. I didn't have the operating system or version of our product or any of the other basic (and required) details. It took me 35 minutes, but in a combination of slow-and-methodical sleuthing and intuitive leaps, like untangling a tangled chain, I found the solution. And it was not in any of the places one would ordinarily look. [The user modified the pre-generated javascript with something unsupported and unauthorized.] You see, I can do this job if they give me the tools -- namely time. And I felt damned good about resolving that problem, because it was tricky and hidden and obscure, and not many poeple would've caught it. And I know for a fact that there's no way in hell I could've worked that out with phone calls interrupting my thought processes, because it took me 35 minutes from start to finish. I've asked K, who's acting-supervisor, whether we'd be able to go back to half-day shifts now that M is coming up to speed and we have four people on the phone again. She said at the end of their training (she and J have another 5 days next month) which means I won't be back to a more reasonable schedule until the end of January. And, while I hate to put K in the middle on yet another matter (most of the rest caused by other aspects of this situation, not by me), I'm sorely tempted to take this over her head to our boss, the head of Dev, and say 'this is why I need time off phones; I was hired with the understanding I'd have time off the phones to work on open tickets; I can do the impossible when given the time; now that we have 4 people answering calls, can we please go back to a schedule close to what I was promised, that will preserve my sanity and allow me to get the work done?' But I've got to work out carefully how to word it effectively. [Mind you, time isn't everything. And one of the other tickets I (tried to) close today just proved that. On the initial call, I told the customer that our product doesn't do that. She said she did it with an earlier version. I asked her to send me that file and I'd check with Dev. Coworkers who'd been with the company longer confirmed our product has never done that. Meanwhile, she kept sending me emails with every file except the one I asked for. So, I very carefully wrote out a polite email saying the product couldn't do this and never did. And I gave a detailed explanation of why the product can't do what she's asking. I provided her with two possible workarounds and repeated that if she'd send me her file, maybe I could see what workaround they used. I wrote very very carefully to make everything as simple as possible. And, 20 minutes later she emails me a reply, "yes, but why won't it work like that?" and she sent me yet another file that is utterly irrelevant to what I was asking. Remember the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean when they're marooned on the island?
That's what it felt like, although I gave a clearer and more relevant explanation than Elizabeth, and I don't think the customer was drunk or hungover at that hour of the afternoon while at work.] In comments to my earlier post, Zolok advised me that the best way to avoid soul-sucking harm is not to bring one's soul to work, but I'm not sure how to do that when I spend so many of my waking hours there. So instead, I'm trying to find ways to cope. For a while, I've been using escapism -- reading and writing heavily. But few new books really appeal at the moment. And even though writing fanfic uses a different part of my brain (and is surprisingly more interruptible) than researching technical questions for customers, if part of my argument is that I can't use the time between calls, I probably shouldn't be seen using the time between calls for other things. [Besides, I've hit the middle again and am bogging down with a mass of scenes in no defined order.] Part of me just wants to shut down completely. And I'm definitely needing more sleep than normal. But in some respects, that's just another form of avoidance, and other things around the house need my attention enough that's not really a viable option either. I found myself wandering through Kitchen Etc earlier this evening, looking for something small that might cheer me up (with all the jasmine tea I've been drinking of late, I was thinking a better (neater) strainer for loose tea would be nice, so I could take some to work. I've got lots of mugs already and don't want anything extra to clean, like a teapot...) but unfortunately, they were sold out of tea balls and spoons. And, while looking online, I found out that one of my favorite tea shops, Tea Tray in the Sky, has closed. Pout. It's also tough, because just wandering around thru Boston & Cambridge the other night, I came up with several little gifts for Ian that I knew were perfect and inexpensive. [the Dresden Dolls CD, a neckchain for his wedding ring for when his fingers are swollen, the latest Cook's Illustrated, and a trip to Marty's Liquors, which has far more exotic liquors than our local Kappy's, both to gawk and to get nip bottles of things he's been meaning to try. Everything except the nip bottles came to under $20. And I just found a new bartending book that's absolutely perfect. [I want to read it too, the author's an established expert and includes a lot of history, but it's primarily Ian's field.] As I mentioned a long time ago, it's much easier for me to buy treats for others than it is for myself. Of course, after just spending an unexpected $850 on a new water heater, I don't feel like I really deserve to treat myself to silly luxuries in hopes they'll cheer me up, when the only real pick-me-up that I need is another job. Right now, there is a small pile of boxes stacked downstairs by our menorahs of things we've received in the mail (shortly after Thanksgiving, I stop opening packages we receive from family and friends, assuming they'll be holiday gifts and setting them aside so they'll last eight nights). But right now I don't even feel up to selecting and opening one of those, out of irrational fear of being disappointed and that making me feel even worse. By the way, I'm not asking for anything out of this; I'm not begging for money or gifts or sympathy (Though if you have a suitable job opening...). This isn't a cry for help. I know our situation isn't anywhere near as dire as some people's. I just need a place to release all this aside from venting to Ian, and this is my blog. And that's really about all I have to say at the moment. Disgusting Postscript:
Water heater update
Posted by Lis Riba at 2:52 PM
Just to update the last bit on the last bit on my previous post, apparently the bottom rusted out(!?) of our water heater. $850 for a new one, including a 10-year warranty (could save money with a shorter term, but heck -- we're not planning on going anywhere) and it should be fixed by the time I get home from work tonight. Not happy about the situation, but Ian has been working long hours the last couple weeks, so we've got enough money in the bank. When we bought the house, 2 of the hot water tanks were replaced. [The 3rd didn't need it; I can't recall why at the moment.] I'm now wondering whether the other one is a ticking timebomb, about to go bad any moment now (meaning we should schedule/budget for preemptive replacement), or whether something was done wrong in installing ours to make it fail that much sooner (as a condition of sale, the former owners didn't have much stake in going for the top-of-the-line). Any way of checking whether the bottom of a hot water heater is about to rust through, before it actually does? [You'd think that something designed to hold water would be relatively rustproof.]
Run away! Run away!
Posted by Lis Riba at 2:25 PM
Don't recall where exactly I saw this first, but apparently AI is getting better. Hoping to avoid monolithic unrealistic armies in the latest LOTR movie, programmers tried to give the digital soldiers the ability to decide their reactions: "For the first two years, the biggest problem we had was soldiers fleeing the field of battle," [special effects designer Richard] Taylor said. I don't know whether that's good or bad, but I expect that's going to lead to some kickass enhancements to videogames in the near future. Also, I can't help wondering how they'd hold up against simulated kangaroos... Other than that, life is... Tried twice this weekend to drive down the newly opened portion of the Central Artery (Big Dig) only to turn away at the last moment because of massive traffic jams. [On a weekend, no less -- this does not bode well for it resolving regular commuter tie-ups.] And I've probably written more than enough about that for now. I almost forgot to mention the latest news to hit our household. Our water heater died sometime last night. Thank goodness we have a first-floor tenant who heard a noise and noticed a leak. Only our apartment is lacking hot water, and Ian's got a Y membership so he used their showers this morning. [I showered yesterday afternoon, and will be okay for another day or so.] The water heater was purchased by the former owners as a condition of sale, and unfortunately, their 5-year warranty (which would otherwise expire in about six months) didn't transfer, and besides Sears techs won't be free until after Xmas anyway... Ian's got a light workweek this week, so he's calling around. One plumber told him that they've gotten calls about five blown water heaters today. I don't know what could've happened -- it's actually been moderately warm this weekend. Somebody else said our water heater is awfully new to be blowing out completely, so will try to see what's going on and whether it's reparable. Happy holidays, everyone!
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