Writing >
My freshman year at college, I took a writing workshop taught by Gloria Naylor. In it, I wrote the following story, which came out of my experiences on BBSes and was also an experiment in form -- whether it was possible to tell a story entirely within a computer log. I liked the story well enough that I submitted it to Writer's Digest's annual writing competition.
According to the October 1990 issue of Writer's Digest, that year they received 1,784 entrants in their short story division. I was one of the top 100. In a box somewhere, I probably still have my "distinctive, hand-lettered certificate honoring [my] achievement." And it was with a story I wrote when I was only seventeen.
Anyway, I beleve that this is the original version. [Writer's Digest had a maximum wordcount, so I eliminated much of the ASCII art for submission.]
And now, without further ado...
|
Modern Love
by
Elisabeth Riba
A:\>type love.prn
DIALING MatchMaker BBS 01/23/90 5:42 pm
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 01/23/90 5:48 pm
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Message # 121
Subject: Holdin' Out For A Hero!
Message # 120
Subject: Are You the Girl of My Dreams?
Message # 119
Subject: Young Doctor In Love
Message # 118
Subject: Mystery Lover on Your Trail
Message # 117
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Message # 118
From: Adrian Gent 92
To: ALL
Subject: Mystery Lover on Your Trail
Do you search out stories on sleuths? Solve scandals before
Sherlock? Are you one of those people who literally lives on like
literature, luxuriating in the mystique, getting miffed upon missing a clue?
Well, so am I. I'm a 32 year old Newton lawyer, divorced with a
seven year old son. If you're interested, clue me in.
Adrian
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: Reply to Message # 118
1: Another mystery lover here--how wonderful! I
2: worked at Kate's Mystery Books thru college, maybe
3: we've met. I currently work at a local Computer
4: World as a sales clerk. I'm 22 yrs old and my
5: favorite author is Sharyn McCrumb, after the
6: immortal Holmes, of course.
7: Jean
8:
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 01/29/90 12:34 pm
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The
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Message # 127
From: Adrian Gent 92
To: Jean LeBlanc 163
Subject: Reply to Message # 122
Jean,
I've read some Sharyn McCrumb; she isn't bad. There aren't many
women authors or detectives in mysteries (Agatha Christie notwithstanding).
However, I always thought that the detective was supposed to take an active
role in solving the crime, instead of merely going with the flow.
In addition, the insanity defense has always seemed weak, and repeated
use of it gets rather tiring. I tend towards slightly more traditional
fare, such as Robert B. Parker.
By the way, I hate to disillusion you, but Sherlock Holmes
was merely a mystery character, not a writer as you stated. Sir Arthur
Conan Doyle authored the Holmes tales.
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: Reply to Message # 127
1: Which Sharyn McCrumb novels did you read?? Just
2: because that's the case in one or two books doesn't
3: mean that it's true of all of them! Unfortunately,
4: the Robert B. Parker style of detective doesn't much
5: appeal to me. However, if you're looking for a
6: hardboiled detective done well, try Sara Paretsky.
7: You know, a while back she was one of Ms. Magazine's
8: Women of the Year.
9: You know, it's pretty annoying to have to wait
10: several days for a response to any question. How
11: about joining me on a chat line Saturday at 2?
12: Jean
13: Oh, and as far as Holmes is concerned, haven't you
14: heard that Doyle was merely a convenient front to
15: keep Holmes from the publicity hounds?
16:
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 02/01/90 7:12 pm
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The
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Message # 137
From: Adrian Gent 92
To: Jean LeBlanc 163
Subject: Reply to Message # 135
First of all, let me say that I have read Sara Paretsky's work
before. However, I find the obligitory "getting some guy into bed" in
every book tends to get rather tiring. Makes it sound like one of those
trashy romances in the supermarket. Also, her constant preaching of the
radical feminist line gets on my nerves. I can see why she won the award.
If I purchase a mystery, I am interested in mystery, not a political book.
As far as Sharyn McCrumb is concerned, I have read Sick_of_Shadows
and Bimbos_of_the_Death_Sun, the latter solely because of the Edgar. After
two unsatisfying conclusions, I have ignored her further books. I have far
better things to do with my time than read from authors who have
disappointed me in the past.
I do agree with you that carrying on long, extended conversations
can get difficult this way, but think about how quickly this goes
compared to before the telephone was invented. In a way I find this
somewhat nostalgic, a return to the lost art of letter writing. Since
there are faster ways available, however, I think we should use them.
Saturday at 2 is out though. I will be taking my son's scout troop
on a nature hike. What do you think of Sunday at 3--Line 2?
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: Reply to Message # 137
1: It works for me--see you Sunday!
2: Jean
3:
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 02/04/90 2:57 pm
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| Hello? Is anyone there? |
| | Yes, This is Adrian. Is that you, Jean? |
| Yeah. It's nice to get an answer when you talk, isn't it? |
| Certainly is. One moment. PRIVATE |
| LOUNGE NOW CLOSED |
| So, what did you want to talk about? |
| Now that it's happening, I really don't know. |
| You must have wanted to chat about something, for goodness sake! |
| Ummm... what do you look like? |
| That's what you went through all this fuss to ask? Well, I'm 5'7" with
brown hair and eyes. And you? |
| Black hair, blue eyes. I'm starting to let my hair grow. |
| It must've been fascinating working in a mystery book store. How long
did you work there? |
It's great. You meet so many people! I worked there thru college. ThWe
HlaEst tRwo yeEars... |
| Oops, static on the line. What I said was "the last two years" |
| That wasn't static, that was me. Where did you go to school? |
| Would you say I was bragging if I told you M.I.T.? |
| Not if it was the truth. I attended Tufts and managed to get into Yale Law
School. |
| Congrats! What sort of legal work do you do? |
| Contract law. Quite a bit of research involved. |
I can imagine. Tell me, is law school anything at all like what they show
in `The Paper Chase'? That's what kept me from becoming a lawyer. |
| Not always. I did have a few professors like Houseman, but for the most
part they were fairly sympathetic. It is a lot of work, though--that they
didn't lie about. But it shouldn't have kept you from applying, you
might've made a very good lawyer. |
I don't know. I picture myself winding up more like Bell. On the whole I
think I'm happier playing with computers. They're fun. |
| I use them when I need to. But I'm no fanatic. Actually, the only reason
I wound up on this BBS was for the legal board. It's surprising how much
you find out here before it hits the office grapevine. |
You said before that you had a son. It must be hard to manage both a
child AND a legal career. |
| It's not so difficult now that he's at school. And besides, now that I've
gotten some seniority I get to make more of my own hours. We spend lots of
time together. I'm very involved working with his Scout troop and Little
League on weekends. |
| You play baseball? |
| I spent a lot of time in sports in high school. In fact, that's part of the
reason I was accepted into Tufts. Athletic scholarship. I played some
sports in college. I'm still very health conscious. I jog and play in the
company softball team. What sports are you involved in? |
| None, really. I'm very much of a couch potato. |
| That's too bad. You know that's not healthy. |
Well, I don't have that much time. Most of my free time I spend trying to
write software. |
| Oh really, what kind? |
Various things. Games, accounting programs, custom spreadsheets...
whatever anyone's willing to pay me for |
| Did you ever think of working on a research database for lawyers. So much
of our work is spent looking for precedents, I'm surprised no programmer
has come out with one yet. |
That does sound interesting... I'll tell you what, let me look into it..
You may have to detail what exactly will be needed, but... I think I can
manage it! |
| If you could, I know a lot of lawyers, myself included, who would snap a
program like that up in a second. |
I'll give it a try. God, my mind's a blank. Anything else you want to
talk about? |
| I can't think of anything either. |
| Well what do we do--just sit here and kill time? |
| Are you French by any chance? |
| No, Canadian. Why? |
| I was just wondering about your name. |
| Oh. I think my great-grandparents were French. |
| Maybe that explains it. |
| Oh, damn! It's later than I thought! I have to start preparing dinner.
One of my clients is coming over and I haven't even begun to get ready. |
| Bon Appetit! |
| Talk to you later. |
| Bye! |
| EXIT |
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 02/09/90 6:28 pm
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* VALENTINE'S DAY BASH!! *
* *
* Sunday, February 18th *
* Club Artemis, Harvard Square *
* 9 pm to ???? *
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* Be There! *
* *
********************************
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Welcome to the MatchMaker BBS, Jean LeBlanc.
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Message # 148
From: Adrian Gent 92
To: Jean LeBlanc 163
Subject: St. V's Day Dance
If you're receiving this letter, I'm assuming you've also seen the notice
regarding the party Sunday night. Would you be interested in meeting me
there? I can't stay too late due to babysitting problems, but I'll be
there from nine to eleven at least. I'm looking forward to meeting you.
Adrian
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: Reply to Message # 148
1: I'd love to go! It's right near the Computer World;
2: I'll be there after I close. I can't wait to meet
3: you either. See ya there!
4: Jean
5:
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DIALING MatchMaker BBS 02/22/90 9:47 pm
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You have no mail.
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MESSAGE BOARDS
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: St. V's Day Dance
1: Adrian,
2: My goodness, I felt sooo embarrassed at the party
3: Sunday night. I guess you were wondering why I was
4: acting so weird. Well, imagine my surprise--I
5: thought you were a man! Looking back over it all, I
6: guess you must've thought the same thing about me.
7: Isn't that funny?
8: No, I guess it isn't
9:
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To: Adrian Gent 92
Subj: St. V's Day Dance
1: Dear Adrian,
2: It was nice to finally meet you at the party
3: Sunday night. I must say, that dress you were
4: wearing was unbelievable. Where did you get
5: it? I've been looking into the possibility of
6: writing a program to help lawyers with their
7: research and it looks rather promising. I'd
8: love to get together with you for lunch
9: sometime and discuss the program in detail.
10: I don't think you'll be able to get ahold of
11: me here much more, though. I just got my
12: phone bill and have to cut back on my calls.
13: Oh, by the way, I don't know if you heard, but
14: Elizabeth Peters will be in Kate's next
15: weekend to autograph books.
16: Jean
17:
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A:\>
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